Thoughtful Thursday: October is BULLYING Prevention Month

October is Bullying Prevention month. Ironically it seems lately that bullying and hate are in the news and found on various social media sites more than ever before. At least to what I recall. It's with the political campaigns (the bashing of both candidates, their religious belief etc), it's against religious groups, athletes, actors/actress, authors, fandoms (fansites) and against various teens (see this news story about the town who rallied around the teenage girl pranked into being on the Homecoming court). It's against people who believe differently, look different, have a different sexual orientation. It's against those who stand up for something they feel is right or something they believe in (see the tragic story of this 14 yr old girl gunned down by the Taliban for taking a stand for her right). The list goes on and on. Bullying goes beyond the news stories. 

Bullying is an every day occurrence in towns all across America, and through out the world. It's happening in homes, in schools, on media outlets like Facebook (Cyberbullying), Tumblr, on blogs etc, and among fandoms, and towards those not in fandoms. 

Here's a sample of some stories in the news I read, all on the same day. It started with the tragic story of the 14 yr who was gunned down by the Taliban, then there was the slandering against Mitt Romney's religious beliefs, hatefully charged comments being said about Obama, the news reports about some sports fans cheering when their own quarterback who had not been playing well in a game was tackled and hurt, then there was a follow up article I read about a student who hard recently taken their own life, and then there was the shocking news story about all the hate actress Stacey Dash is receiving because she came out in support of Mitt Romney (read one of the articles on that here). So just what is bullying and why has it become such an epidemic? 

It seems lately that the lines are blurred with "bullying". People claiming they were just "joking" or "doing a prank" or "expressing their opinion" don't always see themselves as bullies. Some people don't understand that when their actions causes someone harm they are a bully. It seems that line between expressing one's opinion and threatening someone, or joking around and causing someone one harm has become blurred. There is a HUGE difference between sharing/expressing your opinion and personally attacking someone. There is a difference between not liking someone or finding their actions unacceptable and expressing that vs personally attacking them. 

When you personally attack someone you are being a bully, which can also referred to as being a hater. You don't need to threaten, attack (in any form), slander, call names to, post their address and threaten to kill someone, mock them, etc, etc to express your opinion. That's NOT expressing your opinion. That's bullying and being hateful towards someone. You don't have to like someone. You don't have to like their music or listen to it. You don't have to agree with someone's political views. You don't have to like the way someone looks or how they dress, or the way they do thing. You don't have to like the books an author writes or buy them, let alone read them. You certainly don't need to like the fandoms that come from someone's love of said books, or support the movies being made from those book.  You don't have to like those who don't like your favorite author or who don't like the fansites that start because of that. You don't have to like a certain sports team, or believe in the same religious beliefs someone else does. Heck you don't have to like anything about anyone if you don't want, and that's your right, but no one has the right to attack or threaten someone in any way, shape or form. You can express your distaste for something/someone without being hateful and becoming a bully. 

Bullying, according to Wikipedia is defined as: 

Bullying is the use of force or coercion to abuse or intimidate others. The behavior can be habitual and involve an imbalance of social or physical power. It can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion and may be directed repeatedly towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of race, religion, gender, sexuality, or ability.[2][3] The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a "target"

...... Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal, and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation. 

I feel threats should be added to this definition. It is not okay for anyone to ever feel threatened. Whether those threats are done verbally or by posting their personal information on line, or what have you. That is not okay. Sadly often times suicide is linked by to bullying. Victims of bullying often times feel this is the last result for them to escape the constant attacks against them. We've all heard/read those horrific news stories about a teen or young person who took their own life because the bullying they endured was so much, they felt they couldn't escape it. Or there's those kids/teens who get attacked by a group of people because of something they said / did or didn't so or say, or maybe it's because they are gay. These incidents are not expressions of someone's opinion, these are full on bullying/hate attacks. I do not get why it's okay for another human being to hurt someone. Ever. In any form. It's not okay to make someone hate themselves so much they either contemplate suicide or they do commit it. Yes, it is that person's choice and not anyone else's when it comes to taking their life, but what that person needs is a strong support group around them of family and friends who love them, and take the time helping that suicidal friend/family member through their ordeal. 

Have you ever had a friend commit suicide? A family member? Have you yourself thought about? I have. I know what it's like to feel that void and try to come to terms with why a friend would take their life. Years and years later the why is still thought of. I know what it's like to have thoughts on why is life worth living when you hate yourself so bad because of the way people make you feel. 

But you know what, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEM! 

They are not worth losing your life over. YOU have so much to live for. They can not take away your happiness. Fight back by not letting them get to you. Take a stand each day and tell yourself you can do it! You're not alone! If you feel like all hope is lost, TALK TO SOMEONE! Don't wait. Talk to a family member, a friend, anyone. Talk to someone you trust. Call the National Suicide Hotline Number- 1-800-273- TALK (8255). Just talk to someone, and hopefully that someone is a person you trust and know who will take action and get you the help and support you need. 

If you see someone being bullied, take a STAND! If you know someone who's contemplating suicide, help them get the support they need.  You can do more than you think you can in the aid to stop bullying. Together we can call put a stop to bullying by being aware of it, and doing something about it. 

Helpful Links:

• National Suicide Hotline 
• Stop Bullying.gov
• Stomp Out Bullying
• 13 Reasons Why Project
• The Trevor Project
• NCTSN (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network)
• A Thin Line (from Mtv)
• Bullying Prevention Month site

Helpful Books for Teens: There are a lot of great books out there that talk about bullying. Here's a few that came to mind and a couple links from publishers and book sellers about bullying

• * Dear Bully: 70 Authors Tell Their Stories 
• * Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
• * Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
• * Vladimir Tod series (8th Grade Bites) by Heather Brewer
• Scholastic's Bullying Prevention Month article
• You can check out the list of other recs from Barnes & Noble here
• see MacMillian's Editor's List of Anti-Bullying Books for Junior high & up HERE 

Other Blog Posts about Bullying: Through out the month as I find more articles blogger friends write about bullying I'll add them to this list.

• I'd Like To Thank A Writer
• Taking a Stand Against Cyberbullying
• Lady Reader's Bullying Prevention Month post series (see her blog posts here)
• How A Huge Jerk Taught Me A Lesson
• Cyberbullying

* - indicate books I've read and highly recommend picking up

All images were found on google.
Any hateful comments will be deleted.