Mundie Moms

Monday, May 2, 2011

Guest Post by Author Heidi Ayarbe



Today we have a wonderful guest post by author Heidi Ayarbe. Recently I was able to ask her if she would write about why she gave Jake the compulsions she did, and what it was like getting into his mindset and what it was like writing about his compulsions.

Here's a little bit about the book:

Today has to be perfect.
Magic.
I look at the clock.
10:14 AM.

Ten fourteen. One plus one is two plus four is six plus ten is sixteen minus one is fifteen minus two is thirteen. OK.

I turn from the clock and walk into the hallway. "Ready."

Saturday will be the third state soccer champion ship in a row for Jake Martin. Three. A good number. Prime. With Jake on the field, Carson City High can't lose because Jake has the magic: a self-created protection generated by his obsession with prime numbers. It's the magic that has every top soccer university recruiting Jake, the magic that keeps his family safe, and the magic that suppresses his anxiety attacks. But the magic is Jake's prison, because sustaining it means his compulsions take over nearly every aspect of his life.

Jake's convinced the magic will be permanent after Saturday, the perfect day, when every prime has converged. Once the game is over, he won't have to rely on his sister to concoct excuses for his odd rituals. His dad will stop treating him like he is some freak. Maybe he'll even make a friend other than Luc.

But what if the magic doesn't stay?

What if the numbers never leave?

Acclaimed author Heidi Ayarbe has created an honest and riveting portrait of a teen struggling with obsessive compulsive disorder in this breathtaking and courageous novel.

Be sure to go HERE to read a sample from the book.

Published by Harper Teen the book will be on sale TOMORROW May 3rd, 2011
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OCD – obsessive compulsive disorder – has been catalogued as something quirky, cute, borderline serial killer, or morbidly fascinating by TV and movies. Monk, Criminal Minds, and Hoarders come to mind, though I don’t doubt we could come up with a mile-long list of characters. We even associate OCD with famous people (Howard Hughes, for instance), forgiving them this “glitch” because of their brilliance.

Most people, though, who suffer from OCD do so in silence. They spend a lifetime doing rituals and finding ways to hide them – finding ways to justify them and live with them. These people can live lonely, isolated lives. They spend so much energy trying to get through a “normal” day – dedicating literally hours to their rituals to keep them safe, others safe, to keep them off the edge – that life becomes the ritual; they can’t go on without it. The rituals keep their minds clear, to keep the anxiety at bay.

A few years ago, I had my first panic attack. It was almost as if I were outside of my body. I remember sitting on a bus talking to an acquaintance. While he talked, it took every smidgen of energy I had to stay in my seat and not totally lose it. I smiled at the right times. I laughed. I even said the right things. But my heart hammered in my chest – like it was being drilled at by a woodpecker. This was one of the scariest moments in my life. And nothing brought it on. It just happened. That year it happened often – I could feel the anxiety build in my stomach, creep up into my throat, or sometimes I’d wake up in the dead of night afraid my heart was going to leap out of my chest. It’s all about closed places. Things I used to do without a thought – camping with a tent zipped closed, being in the back of a crowded elevator, I’d even been a scuba diver and gone spelunking – became dangerous places to me. I can’t do any of these things anymore. I manage my anxiety about closed places. I sleep with window shades and doors open – all doors have to be open. I won’t sit on a bus without a window that can open. I try to get an aisle seat on airplanes and have worked really hard on being okay with the center so my daughter can look out the window. But it takes a lot of energy to settle into that center seat – to keep the panic away.

But some people can’t talk themselves down. And that’s how Jake was born. I wanted to create a character fighting to get through every day. Because he’s such a great athlete, it makes it easier for him to hide his OCD. In sports magic is a given. Rafael Nadal, top tennis star, always has two water bottles facing out, side-by-side, in front of his chair in games. Turk Wendell, a MLB pitcher, brushed his teeth between innings. Wade Boggs, third baseman for the Red Sox, ate chicken before each game and wrote chai, Hebrew for living in the dirt before each bat.

So Jake being a soccer star was the perfect way for him to get away with his OCD. Before writing Jake, I asked a good friend, who suffers from OCD, if she’d be willing to tell me about her sickness. She has battled OCD for twenty-five years now, most of it in silence. Having her tell me her story, as well as her husband telling me his frustrations, really helped me create Jake – not only as an individual but how OCD affects a family. I visited OCD forums, talked to psychologists, then focused on how Jake’s OCD was triggered – trapped in a closet when he was little; and how he’d deal with it – working out the numbers to make them prime. It was also important to incorporate the story of his mother – her own OCD – and how two members of the same family can suffer from the same sickness in such radically different ways . They can’t begin to understand one another. Another tragedy of OCD. It’s not like the chicken pox – everybody gets the same itchy red spots. It can manifest itself in so many ways.

By no means am I an expert. I studied, listened, researched, and created, a character I hope we can all relate to in a way, maybe understanding a little better how hard it is to suffer from a mental illness – how hard it is to get through a day when everything depends on doing it just right.

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Thank you Heidi for your guest post and sharing the story behind Jake with us.
Next week I'll be sharing my review for Compulsion and we'll also be hosting a LIVE author chat with Heidi.

1 comment:

  1. Great interview!! OCD is one of those disorders that's always interested me. I'm looking forward to reading the book, now more than ever.

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